Sumner Shortcuts

“Seasoned Fire Wood (Portland)

We have a pickup truck load of firewood that does need to be spilt. Logs are about 15″ long and some are about 15″ round. Come pick it up and you can have it.”

Seasoned firewood?

Seasoned how, exactly?  Like… is it lemon-pepper firewood?  Or something more like garlic-oregano flavored?  There are hundreds and hundreds of seasonings and spices and herbs.  If you’re going to open the door to the wonderfully enticing world of seasoned firewood, you’ve got to give me more specifics!

I guess it’s possible that, rather than doused with spices and herbs, this firewood is merely “experienced,” like a grizzled police detective who has seen too many homicides.  But if the firewood is seasoned in that sense of the word, then doesn’t that mean it’s more than likely been used before?  And if there’s one thing I learned in Junior Hikers of America, it’s that wood don’t burn twice.

Either way, it’s an intriguing offer.  I don’t have a fireplace, but even I’m thinking about jumping on this.

Here’s a screenshot of the actual Craigslist ad: